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| Is this what it is?
Is this what it is all about?
My muse sings for a different reason this time
But she cannot find the words for this
This new sensation is indescribable
Not the same familiar feeling I thought I had before
This is strange to me although not unwelcome
Far from being unwelcome
Nothing seems to give proper description
I swore I wouldn't go where I had before
I swore it wouldn't happen again
But this is all together different
Not where I was before
Somewhere better
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| The distinct scent of fear is in the air
My heart begins to race with anticipation
That first terrified scream
Ignites the fire
Sends my blood boiling
Again and again
Each adding to the last
I want it more and more
Don't ever stop my children
I want to play with you all
Parents clutch them tighter
They might decide to come along
This place is my playground
This is where I reign supreme
An addiction I never want to shake
An addiction that is becoming obsession
An obsession that may someday go too far
Crimson is the color I dream of
I want to see real terror
Smell real fear
Taste real blood
Feel it on my hands
This is what lives inside me
This is what you never wanted to know
This is what you should fear
| | |
| I find it hard to believe that I deserve someone like you.
You seem close to perfect in these dead eyes
I knew there was something about you the moment you entered the door
What that something is, I have yet to place
I am flawed, imperfect, broken, childlike, inexperienced....
I can seem cold, heartless
I don't know how to take compliments or criticism
I cling to hope relentlessly
Hope that maybe someday things will be better
Hope that maybe someday things will be alright
Hope that maybe someday I will eventually find.....
But then I remember I am lost in the fog amongst all the rest
Yet never quite close enough to reach out and fully embrace another...
I want to apologize ahead of time
No matter where this may go
I will always be on guard
My scars run thick and deep
No matter how much I may desire it
I'll never be able to fully let someone in
But for you, I will try my damnedest..
When this ends, I will be prepared
Whenever that may be
Don't be afraid for me, it will hurt
But all things pass
I will enjoy immensely what I have while I have it
Because I never know when it will disappear
Hearing your voice makes my dark heart sing
Being with you makes me want to soar
Now if only these broken wings could.....
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| My passions run deep and strong
When you break my trust, you play with fire
Do not expect anything from me
Because I expect absolutely nothing from you
You have betrayed me in the deepest sense
Therefore you have no rights in my eyes
My wrath, my vengeance may not be swift
But you will taste it in time
The longer it waits, the more the flames feed it
Take care that you do not incur any more while it waits
Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me
I may forgive, but I will never forget
| | |
| This isn't fair...
I never knew things were so bad that you would just up and leave me.... You never even gave the slightest hint that things were that bad... You lied to me again twice. You promised there was nothing going on between you and her.... I'm not stupid... You said you weren't lying when you said you loved me... but you told me the day before you left me that you did.... and the day after you were in her arms... Then I found out that you had been going behind my back, telling me you were with your friends when you were with her..... Blindsided by someone who I would never dream in a million years would do this to me..... You didn't even give me any warning... Like you promised you would..... You were my best friend.... and now, I don't even have a fighting chance... because you've already moved on.... so quickly... I feel used... like you kept me around until you found someone else...
I don't understand how you could tell so many lies, break so many promises to someone you concider a friend.... Why? Why couldn't you have been honest with me? Why did you have to make this so painful? What did I do to deserve this?
I've never been so betrayed, so hurt by someone before in my life......
Tell me, how am I supposed to get through this? There's just too much happening all at once.
I'm sorry I never told you all that you meant to me.... I just didn't know how.... Didn't think you would appreciate the sentiment.... This was supposed to be a time when we could make things better.....
I'm not this strong...... I can't do this....... Not on my own.... I'm weak.....
I don't even have someone to help me.... someone to talk to.....
I'm so sorry I took you for granted... I would give everything just to have you hold me one more time. I love you, always will....
I'm sorry for what may happen........ | | |
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I am in a perpetual cycle of death and rebirth.
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